Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
