my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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