Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize