worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
