I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
