Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
