Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
