we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
