Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
