So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
