Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
