He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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