Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
