i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
