Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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