To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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