I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...