Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Success! We fucked roommates!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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