She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He finger blasted me like an angel dude