Screwed.edu
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
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He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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