Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Together?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Preferably.

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  (847): So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch. (541): Together? (847): Preferably. http://tfl.nu/lik5
  Replies (21) Good night (3450) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (726) Bad night (3029)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work

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  (630): Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work http://tfl.nu/uouq
  Replies (16) Good night (1065) Bad night (3972)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...

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  (920): once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore... http://tfl.nu/uw33
  Replies (29) Good night (4728) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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  (541): You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were. http://tfl.nu/i5vx
  Replies (5) Good night (6022) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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  (862): found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later" http://tfl.nu/lryz
  Replies (19) Good night (10620) Bad night (1918)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  This show inspires me to have sex in space

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  (678): This show inspires me to have sex in space http://tfl.nu/vmc9
  Replies (24) Good night (4256) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

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  (248): Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door? http://tfl.nu/ayiv
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.

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  (302): I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not. http://tfl.nu/ul0b
  Replies (16) Good night (1622) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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  (775): We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne http://tfl.nu/t4g9
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement

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  (330): I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement http://tfl.nu/yzu8
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.

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  (303): Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish. http://tfl.nu/hxa3
  Replies (3) Good night (1193) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it

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  (+44): He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it http://tfl.nu/n5kq
  Replies (10) Good night (1803) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out

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  (540): He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out http://tfl.nu/wv7u
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.

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  (216): "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said. http://tfl.nu/ej6x
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (204)

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