A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....