It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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