oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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