dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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