does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize