i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
false alarm. still invincible.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
