I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
