people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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