Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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