ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
