I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
