yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
