You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
