So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
