No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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