is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
