Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
