seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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