The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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