I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
