Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well you can't waste a boner
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize