Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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