I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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