Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
