You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
