Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
foreskin is a definite game changer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize