Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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