Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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