I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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