thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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