SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
