She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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