I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Panties = found
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
