I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
