don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
