i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
