As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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