I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
