The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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