Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
