Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
